Wellbeing is not a Zero-Sum Game

The first step in group or individual coaching is to ask the person being coached to imagine a desired outcome for whatever challenge they face. What do I really want? What do I want to be different? Sometimes a person will tell me they know what they want to be different, but simply do not have time to add something new to their schedule.

Busy leaders often feel they have no time for wellbeing practices. When we talk about cultivating habits or choosing small steps, they insist there is no time without giving up something else important. If I rise earlier for meditation or exercise, sleep is sacrificed. If I make time for friends, that is time I do not spend with family or others in my care.

We need to lose the zero-sum mindset. A practice intended for rest and restoration does not borrow time from a writing project; it fills the well with focus and creativity. Physical activity—whether exercise or simply a 10-minute walk—does not equate to lost time for another item on the never-ending to-do list; instead, moving physically often allows positive energy to flow.

It is true there are only 24 hours in a day. But positive energy, resilience, and creativity are not finite resources. They expand with dedication to micro-practices—daily habits and mindsets which require little time but regular practice.

In my experience, many of us allow a zero-sum mindset to sabotage our attempts to grow into the resilient leader we want to become. If you find yourself held hostage to the notion that you do not have enough time for rest, for moving your body, for laugher and play, for nurturing relationships—consider pondering a different question as you look to the fall season:

What am I called to “let go of” to make space for what is most important?

The answer may surprise you. And responding to your inner knowing about what to stop doing can create space and ignite imagination for transformative change. The energy to begin a new spiritual, physical, or relational habit bubbles up when we release a habit that no longer serves. And surprisingly, the gain from that new habit does not mean loss for other priorities. Wellbeing practice is a positive sum game. All the parts of us win.

“Consider the lilies of the field, they neither toil nor spin; and yet…”